i realy need a place to explode now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
even after a nite of sleep, i can feel the angriness still inside me!!!y u always treat me this way?? y u neva bother to send me an sms or gif me a call?? i told u to gif me a call when u reach home rite?? but til tis mrng, when i wake up, i dint see any of ur sms or missed call. :( y? y u would treat me like this? am i too nice to be bullied? y wont u care for my feeling? y?
and suddenly, i realise, i m that not important to u. not anymore huh? u would totaly 4get me when u r out wif ur buddies. its how u treat me, most of the time. well, no doubt i know u r less gentleman, frm the 1st day i became ur gf. i was hoping to see changes in u, as time goes by. and i was so naive, thinking to gif u more time, telling myself dun force u too much. but actualy deep down, i knew, u can hardly change. well, i have 2 admit that u realy improved urself, one great example is u cut down on ur cigaratte. (even sometimes u did puff several) but i jz wonder, do u realy know waht i want?? do u realy know wat i need?? for our 4 yrs++ of relationship. @_@
jz like for yest case, u said u r goin to a fren's shop, and i asked u go there for wat? u said meet up some frens there, limteh...i replied u, limteh?! or beer?? then u said even beer also drink few glasses oni. damn. i know u well. ur so-called 'few glasses' could means alot. and u know i m working 2day, so i wont follow u there. so without my presence, i know u might become 'wilder'. sure out of control a lil bit. and shudnt a gf be worried of this?? is it wrong or odd if a gf worried, or become abit angry?? i wonder, if i told u, 'i m going out wif my frens, have some beers', how would u feel?? wat is ur reaction??will u act jz like me, worry? and if this thing happen, arent u suppose 2 convince me?? tell me, tell me that i can trust u; tell me that i dun have to worry so much; tell me that u know how 2 take care of urself; tell me that u promised me; tell me that u would sms me/call me when u got home. but u dint, none of the above. and u cant blame me, for being worried of u, and of cos, a lil unhappy. and i was unhapy last nite, all u care 2 do, is jz telling me 'dun like this la'. u always say this. y cant u coax me??u know, i feel fed up sometimes. that i lazy wanna talk 2 u anymore, moodless to tell u how i feel, or wat i wish u could do.cos i knew u know it actualy, but u pretend u dunno. cos i know, things r not gonna change. it ends up the same. shit.
u failed 2 prove to me. and that is y, i realy feel insecure sometimes, when we were talking bout marriage. now that we r still in a relationship, u alr like this. wat bout after marry? definetely u will hav more meetings to attend, more frens to socialise wif, so...things like this would hav happen again. and wat else? u wont convince me. and guess wat?? i m the one who cried alone in the end. and guess wat again?! i m the 1 who coax u back. or mayb, i m the 1 who sort out the things (even if its not my fault)and evrytime when i told u, i dun1 to marry so soon, u will become unhappy. and u would said me being playful. still wanna play ard and dun1 to settle down. see...u always like this. i mean, marriage is a 2-person things, we shall come to an agreement rite?? dun be too selfish pls. respect each other. i hope u would listen patiently to me. and try not to think nonsense. and try to communicate among the 2 of us. there are jz lotsa things need to be done b4 and during marriage. lotsa preparation to do.
i always join u for gathering wif ur frens, even if i m the oni gal. or even if there r gals, we seldom talk also. most of u r guys. do u know sometimes i feel bored?? i mean, guys topic, somehow will bored the gals. i gave u hints sometimes, but apparently u dint get it. ok fine, i told myself to tolerant wif u, accompany u, so that i can keep an eye of u, or at least control abit. but when it comes to attending my gals gathering, i told u, there might be no guys, and u would showed me ur unhapy face. my dear, tell me isit too much i require u to accompany me wif my gals? and its not that u dunno them, u know them!! i jz feel unfair sometimes. y must i always gif in to u? y cant u tolerant me?!
i feel like crying when i m writing this blog. somebody pls help. T________T
rmb i asked u b4? who comes 1st in ur heart, me or ur frens?? u told me, ME. so, SHOW ME!! show me that i m more important!! sometimes talking jz isnt enuff.
but i duno y, u jz wont bother.
i dunno. somebody pls help me, tell me wat shud i do. i jz feel so hopeless sometimes. :( :(