*warning: this is a very emo post if you dont want to ruin your happy Wednesday please skip this*
I'm getting confused with the world. confused with what some people are thinking. sick of how/why some people are liddat? its freaking me out.
when i did something wrong, people reprimand. blaming me for not being matured enough, yelling me for making the stupid mistakes.
so i re-examine, telling myself not to repeat the same thing again. so i try to be a good girl and do WHAT I THINK ITS RIGHT. still, people put the blame on me. T__________T
and for 'that' case, i swear i have nothing to do with it. indeed i am the LAST ONE to know about that incident. i was still the blur-iest girl when everyone already knew about it. i dont even know i was being 'dragged' into the conflict.
so now he treat me as one of the enemy already.
in the beginning, i told myself not to bother about it. just treat everyone the same and go for gatherings as usual and stay mutual no matter what happen. so we met each other and even did some chit chatting. i thought things are the same and normal between US.
but you see, life is liddat. thing isnt always perfect. even sometimes you think you have done your BEST but it simply isnt enough, you have to PLEASE EVERYONE. and thats the HARDEST thing to do in life.
okay back to myself. so i thought i could survive this by not bothering so much and tried to save that little friendship. but.. too bad. i just cant help.
today, i have decided. i have had enough. because i know i cant control what others are thinking/talking. i believe everyone has their own way of living so just let it be. at least, i think i have already did my best, i have done what a FRIEND should do. if people do not appreciate then i cant say/do anything. perhaps i was too naive before this. perhaps its time to learn to be a big girl now.
no matter what it is now, i still wish him all the best. and as for myself, its a priceless lesson i have learned. whatever that happened, i know life goes on, and i always have my loved ones with me (you know who you are, thank you!) ;)
get over it Hayley. dump this stupid thing far far behind and look for happiness in life. because...