Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Health is something which money cant buy

EK and the gang are crazily indulge in beer session lately. no doubt he is a good drinker, but to me, anything overdo will only bring negative impacts.

last time, they drink on Saturdays/special occasions when the next day is not a working day, so its about once/twice a week averagely. but lately, the frequency increases to about 3-4 times a week. i'm not sure about the rest but it certainly upsets me. i know my husband is a good drinker, he rarely got drunk. but everytime i see him drinking like this, i m getting worried. all his friends are consider kaki beer and i think thats one of the reason why he cant resist. plus, he inherits his father's drinking gene so well which i really dont know what to do.
i've told him in a nice way not to drink so much and he answered 'see how la..' which left me totally speechless. as a wife, i'm just doing my best to take care of my husband and hope that he drinks moderately.
so i'm afraid talking to him is obviously, pointless.

if anyone of you know how to convince someone to cut down on drinking, please do share with me ;)

12 comments:

  1. Just to share my experience here, Hayley. My husband once visited pubs 3-4 times per week too. Of course I was upset because he spent most of the time outside than with the family. Our relationship started to shaken, quite badly because of my constant nagging.

    I know it was my fault for nagging. It didn't help to overcome our problem nor reduce his drinking. His nocturnal activities get lesser nowadays after the birth of his 2nd child.

    He still goes out twice weekly and he knows his limit (unless there's a celebration and all his friends go ga-ga). Perhaps he grows mature enough and hold his role more responsible.

    I can't provide you the solution here but I believe you'll handle it your way :)

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  2. Yvonne, glad to hear that your husband knows his limits ;)
    i wish my husband can convince me that he knows his limits too, no matter how good he is at drinking....
    and oh, beer and cigarettes are my all time enemies!! >=(

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  3. I got lucky because hubby Dan doesn't drink OR smoke. So those beer kaki will never invite him to any drinking sessions.

    But I know one of his friend who was a former kaki. He said his wife sat down with him one day and calculated how much he spends monthly (and annually) on drinking alone... It scared him especially when he saw the total figure was more that his baby's milk formula and diapers combined!

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  4. Same like you, I also didn't like him smoking or drinking. I've caught my husband red handed before when he smoked. I tried to purnished him by fining him $$$$. He was willing to pay me due to he broked the promise. Later I found that he kept hiding up and smoked. I get more and more upset, at the same time worrying about his health, just like how you feel right now. Because we are the wives, so it is normal that we are very concerned of our the other half. It is true that constant nagging didn't help much. May be you can try to bring out his responsibility as a husband by telling him that how important that he is to you. Sooner or later you may have young children, he has to really take care of his body and health. Try to talk to him and make him feel like a hero.
    Besides, everything must have limit like what Yvonne said. My husband also likes to watch porn video. I felt terribly offended as well. We have many discussion on this topic, until he confessed to me that this is just a common men interest. It is nothing to do with his love for the family, as well as for me. I hope you and your husband can have more open-minded communication. Communication is very important for any relationship. Trust me this.

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  5. Wai Leng, you're a lucky woman! ;)
    this method of your friend sounds pretty practical, but i'm afraid it might not work on my hubby, as he's quite steady in terms of financial, to be frank =_=

    Yan, it's true! i'm very offended with this habits, watching pornos and surfing xxx websites especially when the wife is around. it feels like we as wives are, useless, lol...
    but think on the bright side, at least they just watch and dint do anything wrong, you know what i mean? :P
    i did talk to him before, but may be i'm not good in talking so it usually end with, nothing =_=
    perhaps i should try to invest in more effective communication.. thanks~

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  6. From my point of view, being husband and wife is not easy as it is. Is not like boy friend and gal friend anymore. Communication, Patience and Trust is very important.I can consider myself lucky too because my hubby not a drinker. But lately i caught him smoking alot these days after entertaining suppliers. His business is expanding. Yes is busy lately and stress. But luckily he's not the addicted one. He never bring cigarette in the house, not even shown in front of Calvin. But i always remind him of his health. As a wife, although i'm busy with my work i able to notice that a few weeks whenever he smoke continously, he'll get sick or maybe had a coughing chest. So, i use the soften way to tell him to cut down the cigarettes. Is not good and i told him i really hope he understand that. Even that i told him, his teeth is not good looking anymore, his lips start darken already, bla bla bla. This is how i talk to him after i monitor him for a while without nagging. Previously i used to nag alot and some times feels anger too, end up quarrel. The more I nag the more he don't want to talk to me. Is really hurt sometimes. Since your hubby has being drinking so much, why dun you try get him something like vitamins in order for him to control is health and from the mean time try to advice him to cut down. So Mei, slowly , I'm sure you can handle it. He need some times to think maturely and think of his family. Gambate ya!!! About porno films...so far my hubby never watch in front of me yet.

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  7. Thank you YorkMei. But when it comes to porn - all men are same(including mine).
    But I made it a point that he shares with me. It feels weird (sometimes I find it funny... dono why)but at least I know this will be something he can share with his wife and don't have to "look outside the house".

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  8. Angeline, hmm, smoking is very annoying too. if smoke purely just to entertain suppliers/for business purpose, then still acceptable, but make sure no addiction and cannot bring back home and sometimes must learn to say NO (but sometimes, its frightening too, if one continues to smoke and sooner or later he'll get addicted very quickly, so must have strong determination, you know, cigarette is a big devil!)
    and i totally understand that nagging wont help improve the situation so i usually just say once. lol...
    anyway, thank you for your support and i hope things will be fine for us!

    Wai Leng, haha, i understand what you trying to say, at least we'll feel better if he shares with us..
    watching porno is ok, but dont overdo it. you know, everything in moderate.

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  9. mei, try to take to Hubby. maybe start in a good way, u just got married a month ago and he already started to show his true colour and u still have maybe 40 to 50++ years to live together. so better start doing it now before it is too late. for man, when they got you ready, they will not care but for women, once we are in, we are in.. but not all men are like that... my bf doesn't smoke and drink. Try to talk to ur hubby in a good way, i'm sure he will appreciate you very much.. all the best ya Mei...

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  10. Linda, like i mentioned, i did talk to him before but sometimes, men just wont listen. haiz...
    anyway, i think i can handle this.. just need more time and workout the things between us..
    thanks girl!

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  11. Well I do not have such problem with the bf, maybe not yet. Plus he is also a good drinker...
    But I do get the same problem of advising him not to speed when driving, because he has a car gang... Aih... Tell me about it man, every time he has gathering with them I worry till death...

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  12. Shirlexia, wow, your bf loves racing ar? most guys love speeding, they enjoy that kinda feeling when speeding =_=
    have you try talk to him about the dangers of it?
    so sorry i couldnt help you much, let's just pray they'll realise it soon....

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