Thursday, May 13, 2010

Rules of a happy marriage

I know i sometimes post about marriage/relationship thingy, i hope you're not bored. i just feel that these infor are really good for sharing!
1. Never go to bed angry
I once received a booklet from a wedding studio during a bridal fair, and inside there are tips of a happy marriage. i remember this tip so vividly! i think this is very important. before i got married and while i was study at KL, we sometimes argued and hung up the phone just like that, without thinking about the consequences. to me, it was like, 'so what? now that we argue, but i know we'll be fine tomorrow when he calls me.' but the thing is, if one of us did not take the 1st step to make things alright, the problem will only grow deeper though we still speak to each other. it will be just a temporary solution.

2. Always be 100% honest
To me, honesty is the most important ingredient in a relationship/marriage. sometimes honesty may hurts, but come to think about it, is it better to know the truth from your partner rather than knowing it from someone else's mouth?

3. Never vacation without each other
The received wisdom here is that if you have time off from your jobs and lives, you should naturally prefer to spend it together. But one problem with this rule is that you and your spouse may not have the same definition of a great getaway, (you like to ski, he’s a beach bum). So just be sure that you don’t always take off without each other. (most of the times, we go for holiday together)

4. If you fight, you're headed for divorce
Of course some couples fight, but its important to find ways to fight healthily and productively (without blaming, name-calling and the like). constant fighting will not solve any problems.

5. Once you have children, they come first
Making your relationship top priority is better not just for you, but for your children, who need to see you in charge and who feel safer and more secure with parents who have a loving relationship. though i have not have any children yet, i believe they are innocent and should always come first.

6. You should never sleep in separate beds
It’s a myth that couples always sleep better and more cozily together than apart. One partner may be a toss-and-turner, or one may hit the hay early while the other keeps a reading light burning till the wee hours. So if one of you occasionally decamps to the guest room, don’t sweat it. Just be sure a separate-bed habit isn’t about avoiding intimacy.

7. Partners should sync up their hobbies
Pursue your separate interests and find activities you both enjoy. erm, ok, my hubby likes PS3, so perhaps its time for me to learn to enjoy using the joystick too =_=

8. If there’s no spark, you’re doomed
Many married couples understand intellectually that they won’t always experience that I’ve-been-drugged-by-love feeling in a long-term relationship. But many still believe that when the spark dies out, it means they’re in the wrong relationship, and seek something new. Long-term relationships survive on commitment and trust, out of which grows love.

9. Boring is bad
A drama-filled relationship may feel exciting, but in the long run it’s not likely to be healthy. anyway love expert believes that it's ok to occasionally have a safe, relaxed, ‘boring’ life together in the everyday because you can always inject excitement with vacations and activities.


  1. good tips for marriage but i don't agree that children come first in marriage.. husband or wife should come first.. my marriage counselor always tell me and my partner. if we are not fond and secure with each other, the marriage will not work..if marriage not work, den is difficult for the children. just my 2 cents of what i learnt from my marriage counseling

  2. Lin Da, of course both the partners must have proper planning before the birth of the child...
    anyway, all the best to you! ^^

  3. thanks for the sharing~
    wish everyone will get their happiness~ Kampateh!!!

  4. Evelyn, welcome!
    eh when you plan to get marry ha? :P

  5. Hmm, I personally think it's okay to go to bed angry sometimes. Because when we are angry, we tend to say something unpleasant to the ears. Hence it's better to keep our mouth and sleep, let the mind cools down and settle the problem next day.

    Thanks for sharing :)

  6. Hahahaha... I laughed so loud when you say perhaps it's time to learn enjoy using the joystick!
    I thank you for your sharing too! I'm very new in this kinda thing, I mean relationship, not marriage lar. :p

  7. Yvonne, well, you have a point there.
    i think this is very much depends on individual. we just have to make sure this doesnt happen always...

  8. Shirlexia, lol, yes la, i need to show interest in his hobby and he needs to do the same too, like, shopping for perfume with me. haha *grin*

  9. SOMETIMES baby comes before we plan....

  10. Linda, haha, i forgot to mention, MBA (marriage by accident) is excluded in my previous comment :P

  11. Really good tips and absolutely right. When having children, they come first, and must also remember not to neglect our partner.

  12. Hi Hayley, ha ha, love this posting.
    Like thesaying, 'first the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering', ha ha.
    By the way, thats a beautiful picture of you in your profile.
    Have a nice day, Lee.

  13. Angeline, most of the points are so true right?

    Yan, yes, we should always care about each other and work together to strike for happiness ^^

    Lee, thank you! lol the saying is true, i hope i dont have to go through the last stage :P

  14. LOL... we are now sleeping separately, and thanks to our chirpy Juan Juan who likes to wake his brother up during bed time!:p

  15. Alice, well sleeping separately in your case doesnt means anything negative, right? :P


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